Editor’s Note: For those who might be new to this blog, and/or just forgot, “Steve” refers to a stroke that I experienced 3 years ago…I think.

On this day three years ago I was preparing to clean the front windows on my house. I walked into the living room and sat down on the stone fire place to put on my shoes pondering my day and suddenly my inner dialogue made no sense.

I decided I should go tell someone about this so I walked over to my neighbors house and on the way I made a phone call to a friend. When I arrived to my neighbors house I was speaking but the words weren’t making any sense to anyone. At that point an ambulance was pulling up to my house followed immediately by my friend I had called. I remember getting in the ambulance and arriving to the hospital and that’s all until I woke up in the hospital the day.

I was lucky.

I was able to return to work part time within 7 months, but it what it was rough and exhausting. I had completed all the speech and occupational therapy allowed by my insurance as well as practice of these skills on my own. For context, I am I high school teacher and I was able to teach one period a day for the second semester.

I was happy to work at all.

At this point I’d say, and my students concur I have a few of them two years, I am 90% recovered from Steve. I do have I slight speech impediment that is enhanced when I get tired. Sixth period is rough, and any work after that- forget. I also have some lingering numbness in right hand and I have slight double vision due to Steve.

I’m lucky to be able to complain at all.

“It’ll get better!”

“Keep your chin up!”

“Fuck you. Having a stroke sucks.” Is what I’d say my head as I put on my brave face.

Naming the stroke Steve gave me permission to recognize what actually happened and process the outcomes. I couldn’t cover over the event with platitudes, I had to deal with it and make sense of it. Once I was able to say, “Man, Steve sucks”, I felt relieved.

And I still do.

Bonus gallery. COVID hair.