Editors note: Typing directly to my blog via my iPhone has been problematic and cumbersome post-Steve. (Remember, I named my stroke ‘Steve’.) So I am now using a combination of writing in a real world journal, and type to text. Writing in the journal works better for the actual writing since I’m not distracted by thinking about the keys on the keyboard. Using talk to text allows me to edit and revise.

“Well, that seems bit cumbersome,” you say.

In which I reply I say, “Perhaps, but simply thinking after a stroke, is exhausting. So if I can cut out the thinking about which keys I have to depress as I write I save a lot of

energy.”

In translating, transposing?, my speech through “talk to text” using my journal I’ve discovered that I leave out words here and there while I’m writing them. Through the process of transposing the hand written notes I remember thinking about the word I wanted to write, but I didn’t actually write it. Essentially, I’ve noticed gaps, or brain farts if you’d like, in my writing. Steve has left me with the same lack of grammar control as before, dogonnit. This of method of blogging hasn’t helped my grammar at all though.

On to the post proper.

I’ve never been good at slicing bagels. Steve hasn’t changed that. I can still slice bagels badly meaning not in even halves. I know, who can? As it is, the bagels come out resembling orange wedges, causing one side to toast more quickly than the other.

Early on during my recovery, a friend who was helping with me after Steve, bought me bagel slicer as he was concerned with me using knives after Steve. The slicer didn’t help me with the slicing; the slices are still ridiculously lop-sided. I hope to be able to slice a bagel perfectly someday.

One of the things that has been challenging, post Steve, is using a computer keyboard. Steve affected my right arm and has some lingering issues. Overall, my arm is fully functional except the loss of some sensation which I notice with some fine motor issues. I had to relearn how to hold utensils for instance.

The process of relearning in general has been, and still is, fascinating. The first time I tried to type on the computer my fingers wouldn’t cooperate. I knew how to type, I could visualize typing, but apparently my fingers forgot how to play along.

I position my fingers on “home row”, which I learned in 7^th grade, and depressed all the correct keys except ‘L’ and ‘;’ who were just floating just above the keyboard.

“That’s weird.” I thought.

So I tried again, or more accurately commanded my brain, to depress those keys.

“Sorry dude,” said my brain, “can’t do it. I mean, like, I’m telling them to, but, like, they won’t do it.”

Apparently the signal between my brain and my ring and pinky fingers, on my right hand, for this particular function, had been interrupted.

“Shit. Fucking Steve.”

You’d be surprised how often you need the L, O, P, as well as the ‘, ? keys, but not the ; key not so much.

This is going to be inconvenient.

Fuck you, Steve.