Coffee Cup

“…I didn’t need something to be done, I needed something to be felt and understood.”

It’s near impossible to explain what it’s like to be an adoptee that has reunited with their biological family. I think the quote above, from a podcast of adoptees who have reunited, comes pretty close. To clarify I will use the example of gift giving.

There is an art to gift giving. The trick is to choose something that will both be appreciated by and demonstrate an understanding of the recipient. I never suffered from a lack of gifts which were greatly appreciated. However each birthday or Christmas I hoped to open a gift that hadn’t been on my list, yet was perfect. But my parents were the type of people to buy themselves gifts, wrap them, and write on the label that the present came from someone else. For example my dad would buy himself something, wrap it and write, “To: Dad, From: Santa”, then feign surprise when he opened the gift; always hilarious.

On my first trip to meet my biological family my cousins Emily and Alleigh took me to lunch at a place totally within my wheelhouse: a renovated gas station. The food was great, the conversation and connecting was even better.

As lunch wrapped up Emily said she had brought something for me. She proceeded to open a bag that had been sitting next to her, reached in and pulled out a china coffee cup. As she handed the gift to me she explained that the cup was from our grandmother’s china set, then shared some memories connecting the cup to times she spent with our grandparents.

“…I didn’t need something to be done, I needed something to be felt and understood.”