The entries for April 3-5 are brief and record the development of pneumonia. On April 4 my grandmother, Mimi, takes over the entries which I find extraordinarily interesting. Did he ask her to or did she just know it was important to him? I’m thinking the latter.

She even includes her name! Not sure why that is so noteworthy to me, I’m thinking it’s because to me it illustrates an incredible depth of devotion; something my parents had. As Alzheimer’s took hold on my Mom and progressed my Dad took on her care and there was nothing we could do to persuade him to get help in the beginning. I’m sure after being married for 50+ years he felt, um, obligated is the only word I can think of but that’s not the right word. It’s not the right word because it lacks the depth of their commitment and devotion. My Dad didn’t become my Mom’s primary caregiver because he “had” to, he absolutely adored her and she him. I would run into people in town that knew them who would say things like, “You’re Dad takes such good care of your Mom. He is so sweet with her.” I don’t know a word to use instead of obligation, so I’ll just say my Dad took care of her out of deep love and devotion.

Well, it appears he’s feeling better. It’s good to see he wants to go home and that the doctors say he can if he keeps getting better.

I can’t help being reminded of my Dad as I read this. His entire stint in the hospital he was anxious to come home and relieved when he was released.

Great to see he had a good day on the 10^th. And how cute is his “nurse”?

Oh man, I didn’t expect to cry.

I knew it was coming but still. Reading about it in the hand of my grandmother is powerful. To have the images of them in my head and visualizations of the family home, the oldest in Arlington, TX, just made it more real. Also her handwriting becomes weaker at the end which makes me think she was weeping too. The fact that he was stubborn about showering himself reminded me of my dad’s strong will as well.

Built in 1893. Date of photo unknown.

Photographed 2005

I honestly, and purposefully, did not read the entries prior to scanning them so that my responses would be very much in the moment. It has been an enlightening and a bit cathartic to learn just a little about the man who was my grandfather. I’ve heard any number of tall, hilarious, tales mostly at his expense so if was fascinating to see his thoughts. It was also fun to “see” my Dad in Poppa. How much more would I have seen if I knew my grandfather? We often wonder what people “back then” were thinking or feeling, and really not much differently than we are today. Granted with social media we’re seeing much more, I would argue too much more, of what everyone thinks and feels but I believe we’re concerned about the same things our ancestors were. Connections. Health. Happiness. Love. These concepts are tested to different degrees throughout our lives and at the end of the day are what we work the hardest to preserve and maintain because they give us life.